The Annals are back. Sorry it's been so long since my last update but after a spate of trumped-up sexual harassment lawsuits from members of a local women's gym, the conditions of my parole don't permit me within 100 meters of a computer, or 500 meters of any women's gym car park after dark.

In today's article, we've got something for everybody, whether your into playing WoW or hanging around in local gym car parks with a heshen sack and a bottle of ether which, last time I looked, wasn't a crime in this country, Ipswich Police Department.

During my brief incarceration for doing nothing illegal at-all (also, calling a female cop "Sugar-Tits"), I had time to ponder my existence. As the years go by, I find myself wondering if I'll still be "Hip" by the time I'm 70. Given most people I know around that age split their time evenly between reading the obituaries in the newspaper and attending lawn-bowls tournaments, I'm guessing not. But I found a video this week which gives me hope - Hope that as I drift into my twilight years, I might be edgy and dangerous and pushing the limits of society's primitive notions of good-taste. Meet Mr. Rob Peters. He's your average septuagenarian who enjoys gardening, watching classic movies and publicly humiliating himself on YouTube wearing an adult diaper and calling himself a "Sissy Fag" at the behest of his Mistress, Rachel. And you thought your Grandpa's boring-ass war stories were difficult to sit through? Strap yourself in...

HAWT!

On the subject of ridiculous shit to be wearing on your ass in public, I give you "Winkers". Now at-first I figured this had to be a joke, but it seems this product is 100% legit. Who the fuck are they marketing these things to? People with fat asses who want everyone to stare? I'm pretty sure you'll find most of the folks with the rump to do these things justice aren't going to be too keen draw attention on their Christmas hams as they trundle down to McDonalds for second-lunch. Not that anyone's going to be looking anyway because honestly, who wants an angry ass-owl winking at them constantly?

What I find even more confusing is that the inventor of these affronts to God has made a patent application for them. Do you honestly think people are going steal your idea of winking-ass jeans? That's like filing a patent for shoving broken bottles up your ass.

Finally, a quick one for all you fanboys of "The Guild". Here's a clip from the Q&A session with the show's cast at this years Blizzcon where Felicia Day - who plays Codex - is asked if "The carpet matches the drapes". For those of you who, like Felicia, don't know what that means, you should probably stop reading this and get back to your bible study group. While this clip isn't especially funny, it's worth watching just to hear the lovely Ms. Day say "Vagina"

I think I'm about to blow my cooldowns.

Enjoy the downtime